E2 is up to 113, lining is at 15 mm, but follies are still around 7.5. Dammit! Dr. G says it's normal for women with PCOS to take longer to have their follicles mature, so they gave me 1500 units more of Folli*stim, and they're keeping me at the 225 IU dose.
I'm leaving for Florida in 2 weeks, so if at least one of my follies isn't up to 12mm, they're cancelling the cycle because they won't be able to monitor me there. That would be just my luck. Stabbing myself with needles for 3 freakin' weeks all for nothing. We'll see what happens.
In the meantime, here's a note to my ovaries:
Listen you little fuckers! I understand that you may be hibernating for the winter, but come on! I've been pumping you with Folli*stim every night for the past 17 days, and you give me nothing! Stop being lazy and produce some decent follicles already. If I could trade you in, I would. You're useless, just floating around in there doing NOTHING. I'm *THISCLOSE* to getting a hysterectomy and saying fuck it to you and your evil ways. What did I ever do to you?
That's all.
Showing posts with label Follistim. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Follistim. Show all posts
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Damn you, unmeasurable follicles!
Still no "measurable follicles"...I have a bunch of small ones, but they're all under 10mm. Little fuckers. And my E2 isn't going anywhere, so for the past two days they've bumped me up to 225 IU. God, I hope it works. I'll know tomorrow when I go to the RE and get a u/s and bloodwork.
If it doesn't, I don't know what I'm going to do. Not sure if the doc has more Foll*istim to give me, and I really can't afford to buy it since insurance covers squat for IF.
Did I mention I'm going to Orlando in 16 days? I'm excited, even though it's only for 4 days. So, given my uncooperating follicles f'ed up timing, that means 1 of 2 things. I'll either still be stimming (in which case I'll be pretty close to slicing my wrists!), or in the 2WW(bring on the Margarita's-NOT!) At this point I'm hoping it's the latter.
It makes me wonder, how long will they allow me to stim before they pull the plug? Do they just keep trying until one of the follies decides to pop? What if it never happens and I have to keep stabbing myself with needles for all eternity?!?
These are the questions that keep me up at night.
If it doesn't, I don't know what I'm going to do. Not sure if the doc has more Foll*istim to give me, and I really can't afford to buy it since insurance covers squat for IF.
Did I mention I'm going to Orlando in 16 days? I'm excited, even though it's only for 4 days. So, given my uncooperating follicles f'ed up timing, that means 1 of 2 things. I'll either still be stimming (in which case I'll be pretty close to slicing my wrists!), or in the 2WW(bring on the Margarita's-NOT!) At this point I'm hoping it's the latter.
It makes me wonder, how long will they allow me to stim before they pull the plug? Do they just keep trying until one of the follies decides to pop? What if it never happens and I have to keep stabbing myself with needles for all eternity?!?
These are the questions that keep me up at night.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Blog Slacking and other musings
Geez, I've been a blogging slacker, haven't I? Of course there are the same old excuses: work is crazy (and will be until tax season's over), and I've been busy poking needles into my tummy.
The stimming has been going okay, at least from what I can tell. I have a few bruises, some hella crampiness, and the mother of all AF's won't seem to leave, but beyond that everything's good. Oh, there's also the crying at the drop of the hat. (On a sidenote-anyone watch Grey's Anatomy? The past 2 episodes I've been a blubbering mess, but this last one I cried through the. entire. episode. Hubby just sat there handing me tissues. He's a smart man, that one. )
Today is my only day to sleep in, because tomorrow I'll be at the RE's at 7 AM getting a vaginal u/s wand shoved up my vajayjay. Boy, doesn't that sound like fun?!? I want to know what masochist decided that 7AM on a Sunday was a good time for that? Would it *really* have been so bad if we waited until say 9 or better yet, 10?!? Let's chalk it up to another thing that sucks about IF. But I digress.
On the other hand, I've become quite good at the injections. My tummy's been so full and crampy (can't tell if it's because of AF or the Follis*tim), that I feel like if I bend over I'm going to pop a follicle. How silly is that? But it must be in the back of my mind, deep in my subconscious, because last night I didn't sleep on my stomach. And if you knew me, you'd know that I *have* to sleep on my stomach, or all hell breaks loose. So I woke up with a backache this morning from laying on my back all night. Hubby told me I should get used to it, because "when you get PG, you won't be able to sleep on your stomach at all." THAT is why I love my husband.
He's such an eternal optimist, and even though he knows the odds, the chances, and the statistics, he refuses to believe that we will not ever have our own baby. Sometimes I think his rose-colored glasses are the only thing that' s gotten me through the past 3 years. As an infertile, it's hard to have that hope for myself that "Yes, this WILL be the cycle". Negativity and doubt is so much easier than admitting that I'm hopeful too. That I would give just about anything to have our own precious baby. It's almost like admitting that I'm hopeful and I want this to be the cycle more than anything the world automatically sets me up for failure. So Hubby can be as naively positive as he wants, because secretly I'm praying and hoping that he's right.
The stimming has been going okay, at least from what I can tell. I have a few bruises, some hella crampiness, and the mother of all AF's won't seem to leave, but beyond that everything's good. Oh, there's also the crying at the drop of the hat. (On a sidenote-anyone watch Grey's Anatomy? The past 2 episodes I've been a blubbering mess, but this last one I cried through the. entire. episode. Hubby just sat there handing me tissues. He's a smart man, that one. )
Today is my only day to sleep in, because tomorrow I'll be at the RE's at 7 AM getting a vaginal u/s wand shoved up my vajayjay. Boy, doesn't that sound like fun?!? I want to know what masochist decided that 7AM on a Sunday was a good time for that? Would it *really* have been so bad if we waited until say 9 or better yet, 10?!? Let's chalk it up to another thing that sucks about IF. But I digress.
On the other hand, I've become quite good at the injections. My tummy's been so full and crampy (can't tell if it's because of AF or the Follis*tim), that I feel like if I bend over I'm going to pop a follicle. How silly is that? But it must be in the back of my mind, deep in my subconscious, because last night I didn't sleep on my stomach. And if you knew me, you'd know that I *have* to sleep on my stomach, or all hell breaks loose. So I woke up with a backache this morning from laying on my back all night. Hubby told me I should get used to it, because "when you get PG, you won't be able to sleep on your stomach at all." THAT is why I love my husband.
He's such an eternal optimist, and even though he knows the odds, the chances, and the statistics, he refuses to believe that we will not ever have our own baby. Sometimes I think his rose-colored glasses are the only thing that' s gotten me through the past 3 years. As an infertile, it's hard to have that hope for myself that "Yes, this WILL be the cycle". Negativity and doubt is so much easier than admitting that I'm hopeful too. That I would give just about anything to have our own precious baby. It's almost like admitting that I'm hopeful and I want this to be the cycle more than anything the world automatically sets me up for failure. So Hubby can be as naively positive as he wants, because secretly I'm praying and hoping that he's right.
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