Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The Green-Eyed Monster

I found out today that a girl on a forum I frequent is PG. We got married on the same day, and she and her husband started trying a few months ago. I *should* be happy for her, and tell her how lucky she is, but I can't bring myself to do it. Ignoring her seems so childish, but at this point in time it's the only thing I can think of.
I should email and let her know happy I am for her, but I'm worried it'll come out something like this:

"Dear Jane,
Who the hell do you think you are getting pregnant? Yesterday you said you weren't even sure you were ready to TTC, and *now* all of a sudden you're ecstatic about your impending arrival. You don't deserve a baby, you whorish witch.
Rot in hell,

So now you see why ignoring her is a much better option than sending the flaming email above. I'm sure *I* would rot in hell if I sent that, but just writing it seems to be therapy enough.

Yesterday I had my u/s and bloodwork. Still no "measurable follicles" (there weren't any Sunday either), so they upped my Foll*istim to 112 IU. I have to go back tomorrow to get more meds from Dr. G, and Friday is my next u/s.


Bumble said...

Oh my goodness, I'm pissing my pants reading your letter! And I'll probably rot in hell for that too. Ah well. Its perfectly natural to feel jealous over it so don't beat yourself up. A while ago I posted about a BFP announcement from a woman who has a 7 month old etc. Anyway, she was also a woman I "met" through a forum. Needless to say, as much as I look like a spoiled-brat-baby-pants, I haven't been back. I posted something like,"Are you &%#$ing joking, AGAIN? congrats..." but that was it. I just can't go back and keep congratulating her about pg milestones, oohing and aaahing over her belly shots. I won't do it to myself anymore. Do what you feel is right for you and don't feel bad!

Baby Blues said...

I was laughing out loud!
Mind if I give it a try? Here it goes:

Dear Fertile Girl,
What gives you the right to get pregnant when I got married long before you did? Come on, fall in line! Don't cut in! I've been here for more than a year! You haven't even enjoyed married being a couple. And you announce it expecting everyone to be ecstatic! You just gave me a slap on the face with the reminder that getting pregnant is so easy. Well f@#k off! I refuse to just sit here and take this. So suck it in and get your pregnant belly out of my face!

Love it! You're right, it's therapeutic. :-)

Susan said...

That is hilarious. Definitely stick with the ignoring IRL and let those of us in blogland enjoy the hell out of the nasty letter-- we get it.

ms. c said...

Hey PB... Just found your blog through Mel. Hope you find the support you are looking for here...
This post totally made me laugh because HOW MANY TIMES have I wanted to send an email like that to a pregnant aquaintance??!!
In anycase... come on over and visit me, you will find that you and I are in similar IF boats, and at the same stage of our journey.
I'm gonna add you to my blogroll, and I'll be back!!

hopeful to hateful in 28 days said...

I can connect to those feelings. It is nice to hear that I'm not alone in my feelings of bitter bitchiness!